Purrrfect Clean Cat Jokes - 60 funny jokes!
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.
LOL! Over 60 Funny Clean Cat Jokes For Kids To LOL!
Why do people love Cat Jokes? Cause they're Purrrrrfect! Come on in for hilarious cat jokes! We got over 65 of the funniest clean cat jokes. Did you hear about the pizza cat joke? Never mind, its too cheesy! These jokes are purrrrfect to share with friends, family and kids. These funny jokes are safe for kids of all ages! If you loved our pawesome DOG JOKES FOR KIDS and laughed at our HORSE JOKES FOR KIDS, then stop horsing around and read some of these hilarious Cat Jokes too!
THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS
INTRO
Q: What's the first thing you say to a cat?
A: HELLO KITTY!
Cats may be serious (and sometimes judgemental) creatures that love to chase mice, sleep all day, and wake us up in the middle of the night with their galivants, but they are also known to make us laugh! A lot!
Cats are entertainers by nature, whether they mean to be or not! Cats like to sleep in all sorts of places and in crazy positions. They jump all over, chasing their toys or a beam of red light. They make weird noises that, let’s face it, we really don’t understand. They stuff themselves into boxes or bring home a furry dead thing. Either way, we’re always shocked and let out a little giggle. Even their annoying antics, like biting our toes while we’re sleeping or knocking every single thing off the counter, make for hilarious stories later on.
Cat parents know their fur ball makes them laugh at least once a day. And, not only do they make us laugh, but they make us healthier! Owning a cat can reduce your risk of stroke, and by snuggling with your cat, you’ll experience the magical purr that lowers blood pressure and reduces stress levels.
Our furry cat friends bring so much light to our lives, it’s only fair that we keep the ball rolling with some great cat jokes at their expense. We’ve compiled a list of the best, clean cat jokes suitable for getting your friends chuckling. Whether you’re looking for a one liner to be the talk of the cat party or a bad dad joke, we’ve got you covered! These purrfectly wholesome jokes are great for kids and sure to get a lot of laughs.
EVERY CAT JOKE EVER
Q: What does a cat say when somebody steps on its tail?
A: Me-ow!
Q: How do you make cats furry?
A: The spin cycle.
How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
They never cry over spilt milk!
How is a cat laying down like a coin?
Because he has his head on one side and his tail on the other!
Q: When the cat's away.....?
A: The house smells better!
Q: What do you call a cat that doesn't use the litter box?
A: A pet project.
Funniest Cat Joke Book for Kids
”Best. Cat. Joke. Book. Ever. Bought it for a friend who loves cats and it did not disappoint.”
★★★★★
5 STAR REVIEW
IF YOU LIKE FUNNY CAT JOKES, CHECK OUT OUR CAT JOKE BOOK. A CARTOON FILLED JOKE BOOK ALL ABOUT CATS!
(PURRRFECT FOR EARLY READERS AGES 5-7 and ABOVE!)
CHECK IT OUT!
CAT ONE LINERS
Since my cat is getting old, I'm gonna start calling him GranPAW.
Tell me one more funny cat joke and I'll puma pants!
A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov’s dogs and Schrodinger’s cat. The librarian says, “It rings a bell, but I don’t know whether it’s there or not”
I saw a big cat wearing a very colorful hat and cape the other day. I think it was a dandy lion.
I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. He looks like a leopard now.
My lion impression went down well — a roaring success.
GRUMPY CAT JOKE
Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he’s in a lousy mewd.
BAD DAD CAT JOKES
Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide?
Because he's always spotted.
How do you spell cat backwards?
C-A-T-B-A-C-K-W-A-R-D-S!
What do you call a cat that can rough the great outdoors?
A: A survival kit.
Q: What do you call a cat that can put together furniture from Ikea?
A: an Assembly kit.
Q: What do you call a cat that does tricks?
A: A magic kit
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.
How do cats end a fight?
They hiss and make up.
Is it bad luck if a black cat follows you?
That depends on whether you're a man or a mouse.
What is a favorite cat tale?
The Tortoiseshell and the Hair!
What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat?
Hiss and Tell.
CAT AND DOG JOKES
In what kind of weather is a vet the busiest?
When it's raining cats and dogs!
What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs!
FAT CAT JOKES
If a cat is a flabby tabby, then what is a very small cat?
An itty bitty kitty.
In which month do cats meow the least?
February - it's the shortest month.
CAT PUNS
What do cats read in the morning?
Mewspapers!
What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
The purrpatrator.
What is a cat's favorite party game?
Mews-ical chairs!
What kind of cats purrs the best?
Purrrrr-sians!
Why do people love cats?
Because they are purrrrr-fect!
What is a cat's favorite subject in school?
HISStory.
CAT AND MOUSE JOKES
What do you say to your cat when you go out?
Have a mice day!
What does a cat call a bowlful of mice?
A purrr-fect meal!
What did the freshman computer science major say when he was told that the work stations had mice?
Don't you have a cat?
What did the mouse say when the cat bit his tail?
That's the end of me!
What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.
How do you spell mousetrap in just three letters?
C-A-T!
How do you know when your cat has been using your computer?
When your mouse has teeth marks on it!
What is a cat's favourite song?
Three Blind Mice.
Q: What time is it when ten cats chase a mouse?
A: Ten After One.
What do cats do before they catch mice?
They prey!
CAT AND BIRD JOKES
How do you stop a ten-pound parrot from talking too much?
Buy a twenty-pound cat!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot?
A carrot!
Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
There was some money in the kitty!
What do tigers wear in bed?
A: Stripey pyjamas!
Why do tomcats fight?
Because they like raising a stink!
Why did the cat sleep under the car?
Because she wanted to wake up oily!
How did a cat take first prize at the bird show?
He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.
CAT RIDDLES
Why are cats longer in the evening than they are in the morning?
Because they're let out in the evening and taken in in the morning!
What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea?
A catameringue!
What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla?
An animal that puts you out a night!
What do you do with a blue Burmese?
Try and cheer it up a bit!
MORE BAD DAD CAT JOKES
If a cat can jump five feet high, then why can't it jump through a three foot window? Because the window is closed.
Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
A: Sandy Claws!
My kitten was having trouble watching her Blu-Ray.
Turns out she just had the movie on paws.
How do cats eat spaghetti?
The same as everyone else - they put it in their mouths!
Q: What looks like half a cat?
A: The other half!
Q: What's striped and bouncy?
A: A tiger on a pogo stick!
Q: How can you get a set of teeth put in for free?
A: Tease a lion!
Whats the difference between a pizza and these funny cat jokes?
These cat jokes cant be topped!
Q: What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
A: A catastrophe!
Which animal is smarter than a talking cat?
The spelling bee!
When do desert cats wear red suits?
At christmas, cause they got Sandy Claws!
What do you call a great white cat terrorizing a resort town?
“Claws”
Why did the cat become a paramedic?
She wanted to be a first-aid kitty!
LONG CAT JOKES
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a cat sitting next to him. "Are you a cat?" asked the man, surprised. "Yes." "What are you doing at the movies?" The cat replied, "Well, I liked the book."
A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box.
The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move.
"Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor.
"How much do I owe you?" the lady asks.
"$345," says the doctor.
"$345!!?" the lady asks.
"Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a Siberian Lynx in the front seat. "What are you doing with that Siberian Lynx?" He exclaimed, "You should take it to the zoo." The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the cat again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over. "I thought you were going to take that cat to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!"
SCROLL DOWN FOR A LESSON IN TELLING JOKES!
”Best. Cat. Joke. Book. Ever. Bought it for a friend who loves cats and it did not disappoint.”
★★★★★
5 STAR REVIEW
IF YOU LIKE FUNNY CAT JOKES, CHECK OUT OUR CAT JOKE BOOK. A CARTOON FILLED JOKE BOOK ALL ABOUT CATS!
(PURRRFECT FOR EARLY READERS AGES 5-7 and ABOVE!)
CHECK IT OUT!
SCROLL DOWN AND LEAVE A COMMENT!
OR LET US KNOW YOUR FAVORITE CAT JOKE
ANATOMY OF A CLEAN CAT JOKE
Kids love cats. If there is one thing they love more than cats, its clean funny cat jokes!
Speaking of jokes, we compiled some of the best cat jokes on the internet above but we also wanted to break down the types of jokes we have. Let’s pretend for a moment that your a “joke beginner”, so were going to take apart the basics of all the different types of cat jokes out there.
THE KNOCK KNOCK cat JOKE
The knock knock joke is when one person starts with saying “knock knock”. It is an audience participatory jokes that ends with a pun. So one person is saying knock knock to get a response from the other person. Its making fun of the idea that you the joke teller is knocking on a door and your friend is answering the call.
Example of a cat knock-knock joke:
Knock Knock
Whose There?
Purrr
Purrr Who?
It’s me, your purrrrect guest!
THE CAT RIDDLE
A riddle is a type of question or statement that has a double meaning. The most famous riddle is “What’s black and white and red all over?” “A newspaper!” There aren’t a lot of cat related riddles, but we made some up just for you guys:
CAT RIDDLE
If a cat breeder had 199 cats in his back yard. How many cats does he actually have?
Well, when he rounds them up, he has 200 cats!
THE BAD DAD CAT JOKE
The dad joke is a quick joke that is usually some kind of pun. It is also known as a groaner, because it makes the audience (normal ones children) groan. They are notoriously bad and simple. Bad dad jokes are often one liners and sometimes have a question that is quickly followed by an answer. Most of the cat jokes above are bad dad jokes and do not impress most people! (We are shocked!!!) However, some adults believe that bad dad jokes are actually the “anti-joke” and that they get their humor from having intentionally bad or unfunny endings. Though no one knows who came up with the first dad joke, the term was first used in 1987 in an article titled “Don’t ban the ‘Dad’ jokes; preserve and never them” (Gettysburg Time June 1987).
Example of a Bad Dad Cat Joke
What does a cat call a bowlful of mice?
A purrr-fect meal!
oooof.
THE ONE LINER CAT JOKE
A one liner is a super short witty remark. It is barely a joke and sometimes are kind of snarky. They are usually concise and meaningful and many people are known for their one liners as a quote or saying. James Bond is a good example of the one liner when he delivers a snarky comment to a villain. Some is a cheesy cat one liner making fun of a fat cat:
My cat is in shape unfortunately its the wrong one!
THE WAITER CAT JOKE
The waiter joke is an old timer meme. It usually revolves around a customer who comes to a restaurant and gets snarky service from a… you guessed it A WAITER! These jokes are rumored to have their origin from the Lindy’s Restaurant in NY during the 1920’s, where the waiters were notorious for giving snarky remarks. When a fly landed in a customers soup, one Lindy waiter would say “sure there’s a fly in your soup, but how much can he really drink?” Zing!
Waiter jokes have come a long way since the 1920’s and here is my favorite Cat Waiter Joke!
A customer was shocked that there was a mouse in his soup.
“Waiter Watier! There is a mouse in my bowl!” he yelled.
“Oh, don’t worry” the waiter replied. “All the cat hair in your salad will scare it away!”