Dog Joke - Dog Jokes - Dog Jokes! The Mega List! 


Q: Why aren’t there more famous dog dancers? A: Cause dogs have two left feet!

Q: What has 4,000 eyes and 8,000 legs? A: Two thousand dogs.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Doberman and a hyena? A: No idea, but if it laughs, I join in.

Q: How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat while your driving? A: Tell him to come bar

Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus? A: He stole the show!



Q:Why do Dobermans hate the rain? A: They dont want to step in a poodle!

Q:What did the dog say to the garden? A: Lettuce Eat!

Q: What does my dog and my phone have in common? A: They both have collar id!

Q:What kind of dog eats with their ears? A: They all do! Who removes their ears before dinner?

Q: What do you call a cold Chihauhau? A: A pupsicle!

Q: What happened when the dog swallowed a firefly? A: He smiled with de-light!

Q: Why dont dogs bark at their feet? A: Because its not polite to talk back to your Paw!


Q: What is my dogs favorite comedian? A: Growlcho Marx!

What an amazing, clever dog we have! He brings in the paper every morning, and we’ve never even subscribed to one!

A three legged dog walks into a bar. He says, “Im lookin for the man who shot my paw!”

Q: What happened when the cat won the dog beauty contest? A: a Cat-has-trophy!

Q: Why did the dog cross the road? A: To get to the Barking Lot!


Pug Head Tilt Gif

A Pug farted on an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels!

Q: Whats large grey and makes no difference to dogs? A: Never mind, it’s irrelliphant!

A pug owner comes home from the international market and says “hey boy! you want a Brazilian treat?” The pug replies “Oh Gosh! Im so lucky! How many is a Brazilion?!?”

Q: Why do Pug Vampires believe everything you tell them? A: Because their suckers!

Q: Why dont pugs write with dull pencils? A: Because there’s no point!

Q: What do pugs call empty jars of cheese whiz? A: Cheese Was

Q: Who’s bigger: Mr. Bigger the Pug, or Mr. Bigger’s baby? A: The baby, cause she’s a little bigger!

Q: Would you rather have a 250 pound dog chase you or a psycho with a chainsaw? A: thats easy… I’d rather he chased the psycho!

I took my pug to the vet. She said “He’s a little over weight” I said I wanted a second opinion. She replied “He’s also pretty cute”

Q: Whats a pugs favorite musical instrument? A: The dinner bell!


Pug Easter Bunny Gif

My pug is in shape unfortunately its the wrong one!

Q: Why was the dog chasing its own tail? A: It was just trying to make ends meet.

At a dinner party a Pug farts. The king charles turns to him and says “How dare you fart in front of me!” The pug replies “Im sorry, I didnt realize it was your turn!”

Why did the dog roll toilet paper down the hill? So it could get to the bottom!


Pug Bath Tub Mayhem Gif

Q: Why do pug farts smell? A: For the benefit of the people who are hearing impaired!

Two pugs are sittin on opposite sides of a lake. One pug yells “HEY! How do I get to the other side of the lake?!” The second pug yells back  “You ARE on the other side!”

A pug breeder has 196 pugs in his back yard. But when he rounded them up, he had 200!

 “Life is like a dogsled team.  If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes. ” - Lewis Grizzard

Q: What do you call a sleeping Rottweiler? A: Anything you like, just very quietly.

My dogs been having a bad day I asked him “hows life?” and all he said was its “RUFF”

 Q: How do you tell the difference between a labrador and a marine biologist? A: The one wags a tale, the other tags a whale.

 Q: What do you do when you find a 250 pound dog sleeping on your bed? A: Quietly go sleep on the sofa.

 What is the difference between a dog and a grocery store? [Don’t know] Hmmm, guess I’ll go do the shopping myself then!

 Q: Why don’t people put an ad online when their dogs get lost? A: well, how many dogs do you know that actually use the internet?

Q: What do you get when you cross a pitbull with a computer? A: Lots of Bytes!

Q: Did you hear about the pug who invented the knock knock joke? A: She won the no-bell prize!

Dog riddles, dog humor, talking dog jokes, dog puns, dog phrases dog one liners, dog funny pictures... What do you call a dog with no legs?

Did you hear the dog pizza joke? Never mind, it’s too cheesy!