BEST HOT DOG JOKES, ONE LINERS
AND PUNS FOR KIDS!
What did the hot dog say when it crossed the finish line?… “I’m a wiener!”
Why do all hotdogs look alike?… Because they are “in-bread”
Hot dogs really should be renamed to hot wolves… They always come in packs.
I go to the store and buy ten hotdogs, nine burgers, three bags of chips, and six sodas. If I eat nine hot dogs, seven burgers, three bags of chips, and drink five sodas, what do I have?… No self control.
On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store. “Give me a couple of steaks,” he says. “We’re out of steaks but we have hotdogs and chicken,” says the butcher. “Hotdogs and chicken?!” yells the hunter. “How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?”
Can a hamburger marry a hot dog?… Only if they have a very frank relationship!
Did you hear the story about a guy who could eat a footlong hot dog in two bites? Sounds a little “hard to swallow” right?
I went to the local hot dog guy and said, “Can I get a jumbo sausage?” He said, “Sure. It shouldn’t be long. ” Me: In that case, can I get two?
One hot dog says to another, “You been to that German night club yet?” “Nah, it was too krauted.”
He goes up to the librarian, : “Can I have an hot dog?” Librarian: “Sorry sir but this is a library.” Man: “Hh sorry!” Says quietly”: “Can I have an hot dog?”
A man walks up to an Indian hot dog vendor Smirking to himself, he says, “Make me one with everything!” before handing over a twenty dollar bill.The vendor chuckles good-naturedly before doing exactly that, piling a hot dog high with various condiments before handing it over. The man accepts it, but hesitates. “Where’s my change?” The hot dog vendor smiles knowingly. “Change,” he says, “comes from within.”
Frankly, I am happy this isn’t the last hot dog joke!
CREEPY / HALLOWEEN HOT DOG JOKES
What was the taxidermist doing at the hot dog stand?… Stuffing his face!
What do you call a scary hot dog with nothing in it?… A Hollow-Weenie.
How does a ghost eat a hotdog?… By goblin it.
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it?… A “hollow-weenie!”
What happens when you turn flying mammals into hot dogs?… Things go from bat to wurst.
HOT DOG SPORTS JOKES
What do you call a hot dog race?… Wiener takes all.
What’s the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog?… You can buy a Fenway Frank hot dog in October.
SAUSAGE PARTY
What do you call a hot dog wizard?… A sau-sage.
I was disappointed that my friend chose to bring hot dogs to my fancy pot-luck dinner party… But, I suppose it could have been wurst.
How do you make a frankfurter laugh?…Tell it a Polish sausage joke.
I have an idea for a make-your-own hot dog place. It’s called “What’s the Wurst That Could Happen?”
Why are German hotdogs the most controversial?… It’s because they make the best AND the wurst ones.
It really stinks when you bite into what you expect to be a hot dog but it’s actually a sausage… That’s the wurst.
Have you ever been to a hot dog factory?… No, I haven’t sau-sage (saw such) a place.
Why do the hot dogs with ketchup spoil early?… Because the sauce ages.
Why did the family get lost on the way to the hot dog stand?… They took a turn for the wurst.
Puns about sausages are the deli wurst!
What do you call a saw that cuts hotdogs?… Sawsage.
What did the people call the bad hot dog stand?… The WURST!
What did the American hot dog say to the German hotdog?… You’re the wurst.
JUST THE BUN
What does a hotdog call his wife?… Honey bun.
Why did the hot dog hire a tutor?… He wanted to be on the honor roll.
I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest as a hotdog… I’m on a roll.
I bought a pet snake. He’s a very picky eater. Only eats burgers, hot dogs, and Sloppy Joe’s. Apparently, my anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got buns, hon.
HOT DOG HONESTY JOKES
“This hot dog is fantastic,” the customer said frankly.
I just had a very serious discussion about hot dogs… It was a frank discussion.
HOT DOG ONE LINERS
My girlfriend asked me if hot dogs were good for her diet. I replied, “They’re not the wurst”
I stepped into my shower today only to find hot dogs coming out of the shower head. My plumber calls it a “meatier shower.”
What do you call someone who electrocutes hot dogs?… Frank Zappa.
HOT DOG RIDDLES
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?… “Make me one with everything.”
Why did the dog stay in the shade at summer camp?… It did not want to be a hot dog.
Why did the vegetarian hot dog cross the road?… To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the lady put a sweater on her hot dog?… Because it was a chili dog!
What do you call a dog with a fever?… A hot dog.
Why do hot dog vendors have the WURST dress codes. One lady vendor got fired from her job because she put her hair in a bun.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog?… Stop touching my buns!
HOT DOG WALKS INTO A BAR
A hotdog and a hamburger walk into a bar.. The bartender immediately tells them “I’m sorry but we don’t serve food here.”
DIRTY HOT DOG JOKE
What did the constipated hot dog say?… Muuussttuurrrdd!!
Whats brown and sticky? A Stick!
Whats brown sticky and pink? A hot dog on a stick!
I saw a hot dog vendor today…She was good looking, but I don’t really want a dog.
A guy claimed to have made a 20 pound hot dog. His butcher said “Ah, that’s bologna!”
HOT DOG PUNS
“Franks a lot!” for checking out the “hot” dog jokes!
What is the best way to enjoy a hot dog?… Relish it.
“Let me be frank, I love summertime.”
I took a road trip with my German buddy and when I accidentally dropped my hot dog out the window he swung the car around to go back and get it… That’s when the whole trip really took a turn for the wurst.
When can a pizza marry a hot dog?… After a very frank relationship.
How did the hot dog get the job despite having a criminal record?… It was a misde-wiener.
What do you call a candid hot dog?… A Frank-furter.
Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor roll.
“Dear, hot dogs. You’re so barbe-cute.”
“Out of every hot dog in the world, I pickle you.”
What do you say to a yummy weiner? “What’s up, dog?”
What do they serve for lunch at the comedian workshop?…Hot dog puns.
BAD DAD HOT DOG JOKES
Dad jokes are like hot dogs…. “Frankly”, I can’t get enough.
How are you enjoying life while eating a hot dog?
You’re relishing every moment!
Every oven in the greasy hot dog restaurant was broken, so the diners got a raw deal.
A yam and a hot dog are having a heart-to-heart…Yam: Can I be candied with you? Hot dog: In that case, let me be frank.
Some people hate hotdogs. I relish them
A good friend of mine, Frank, owns and operates a struggling Hot Dog business… He recently turned to social media to help boost sales though, and is determined to make every post a weiner.
OUTER SPACE HOT DOG JOKES
Did you hear about the hot dog stand on the moon…
The hot dogs were out of this world, but there was absolutely no atmosphere.
PUPPY DOG HOT DOG JOKES
Why did the daschund stay in the shade?… It did not want to be a hot dog.
What does a hot dog go camping in?… A Wiener-Bago!
What do you call a dog on the beach in the summer?… A hot dog!
The most loyal, kind and noble of all dog breeds is the hot dog…He’s the only one who feeds the hand that bites him.
What’s the opposite of a hot dog?… A pupsicle.
What do you call a cold dog?… A Chili Dog.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua?… A hot, diggety dog.
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit?… A hot dog.
What do you call a hot dog with a sweater?… A chili dog.
When do franks tell insults… at a wienie roast.
HOT DOG WAITER JOKE
Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, I want it with sauerkraut!
Customer: Waiter Waiter! There is a Fly on my hot dog! Waiter: Dont worry sir, the spider in the bun will get him.
Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, with onions!
The guy who recommended this hot dog stand to me had no reservations.
HOT DOG CONDIMENT JOKES
How does the enthusiastic man eat his hot dog?… With relish.
How did the hotdog ask the ketchup out?… He mustard up the courage.
I was eating a hotdog the other day and when I took a bite ketchup squirted in my eye… Now I have heinzsight.
Why did the disgruntled hot dog vendor quit his job?… He just didn’t relish it.
What do you give a dog with a fever?… Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter?… Ketch-up!
I take my time while putting toppings on my hotdogs. I choose to relish every moment.
“Relish today and ketchup tomorrow.”
Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup?… Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Why are hot dogs the weirdest dogs?… Because most of them are in-bread.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter?… A Chili dog.
HOT DOG MOVIE JOKES
What Star Wars character sells hotdogs?… Admiral Snackbar!
Did you see the movie about the hot dog?… It was an two time Oscar Wiener.
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture?… None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
Why are celebrity hot dogs angry?… They are always getting roasted.
My local movie theater was robbed of almost $10,000. The thieves got away with three boxes of popcorn, two large sodas, three boxes of candy and a hotdog.
HOT DOG JOKES ABOUT CHILDREN
How was the at the Fourth of July picnic?…The hot dogs were bad, but the brats were the wurst!
What did the mother frankfurter say to the naughty child wiener?… Don’t be a brat!
Did you hear Billy got a D- on the big hot dog quiz? He gave the… wurst… answers!
