Funny Dog Food Diet Jokes

My dog is in shape. Unfortunately its the wrong one!

Here is a giant list of the best dog food diet jokes, one liners, and puns!

funny dog food diet joke

Yo Dogs So Fat Jokes, Fat Dog Puns, and the Mega list of Fat Dog One Liners! Know any fat dogs on your block? Try these zingers out! 

Just a few to whet your appetite before the mega list! 

My pugs so fat, he turned into a Husky!

My dog went on a diet, she removed all the kibble from the pantry. It was delicious!

My new years resolution is to gain 10 pounds so my pug looks skinnier.

TBT is a great way to see how fat your dogs gotten!

My pugs so fat she ran down a yellow schoolbus thinking it was the largest twinkie ever!


fake purina dog food diet joke

 

The Purina Dog Food Diet Joke

We've all gotten that funny email, someone telling a story of some outragous thing that happened when your neighbor was out shopping. Here is the infamous purina dog food diet joke meme in its entirety! This is the original Dog Food Diet joke! Next time your in a big box store try and repeat this to someone!

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.

Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.


MORE "YO DOG SO FAT JOKES!"

The mega list of Your Dog is Soooooo FAT!

 

My dog gave birth twice and still fits into her halter. I gave birth 0 times and don’t fit into my pants from last year!

Your dogs so fat, she got a parking ticket just standing in a crosswalk.

Every time someone calls my dog fat she gets so depressed she cuts herself… a piece of cake!

Behind every fat dog is a skinny dog, no seriously, get your dog out of the way.

Your dogs so fat, when you go camping, the bears hide THEIR food!

list of funny dog so fat jokes and one liners

Your dogs so fat, she started an instagram account and the whole internet crashed!

Your dogs fat, not because it runs in her breed, its cause her breed doesn’t run.

Your dogs so fat, she fell down and rock herself to sleep trying to get up.

Whats a dogs favorite musical instrument? The Dinner Bell!

Your dogs so fat, when he stepped on a scale it said “I didn’t ask for your phone number!”

You know your dogs fat when she steps on a scale and it says “One at a time please!”

If your dog weighs 200 pounds on Earth, its only 76 pounds on Mars. That means your dogs not fat, he’s just on the wrong planet!

Your dogs so fat, I took a picture of him last christmas and its still printing!

Your dogs so fat, I put a yellow rain coat on her and people yelled “Taxi!”

Your dogs so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a bone on the other side just to get her in the house!

Your dogs so fat, when a truck hit him, he said “Who threw that rock?”

 

giant list of dog food diet jokes, puns, and one liners

Your dogs so fat, when you took him to the circus a little girl asked if she could ride the elephant!

Yo dogs so fat, the only alphabet he knows is KFC

Your dogs so fat, she went to japan and godzilla said “DAMN” and ran away.

Your dogs so fat, I took him to the beach and the whales started singing “We are a family!”

Your dogs so fat, he doesn’t need the internet, he’s already “World Wide”

Your dogs so fat, she broke her family tree.

Your dogs so fat, when the vet put her on a scale it said “To be continued!”

Your dogs so fat, she stepped on a rainbow and skittles popped out. 

Your dogs so old and fat, when got said “Let there be light” he told her to move.

Your dogs so fat, your beeper went off and everyone thought she was backing up.

Your dogs so fat, when he fell, no one laughed, but the ground started cracking up!

Your dogs so fat, his belly button gets home from the walk 10 minutes before he does!

Yo dogs so fat, she used the great wall of china as a collar.

Yo dogs so fat, she’s got more rolls than a bakery.

Your dogs so fat she doesn’t fit in this joke!