Hilarious Great Dane Jokes


The Best Great Dane Jokes and one liners!

Great Dane jokes are the best and Great Danes are amazing Dogs. These giants are funny, gentle AND full of love! So we compiled our favorite Great Dane Jokes, Great Dane one liners, and added some funny Great Dane pictures and also a few Great Dane Puns!

Q: What happened when the Great Dane went to the flea circus? A: He stole the show!

Q:Why do Great Danes hate the rain? A: They don't want to step in a poodle!

Q: Who’s bigger: Mr. Bigger the Great Dane, or Mr. Bigger’s baby? A: The baby, cause she’s a little bigger!

Q:What did the Great Dane say to the garden? A: Lettuce Eat!


Great Dane Tongue Pic! (source @littlebluekisses) Best Great Dane Jokes

Q: What does a Great Dane and my phone have in common? A: They both have collar id!

Q: What do you call a cold Great Dane? A: A pupsicle!

A man takes his Great Dane to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."

Q: What happened when the Great Dane swallowed a firefly? A: He smiled with de-light!


That last great dane joke got waaaaay outta hand. Best Great Dane Jokes

Q: Why dont Great Danes bark at their feet? A: Because its not polite to talk back to your Paw!

Q: Whats a Great Dane's favorite comedian? A: Growlcho Marx!

A three legged Great Dane walks into a bar. He says, “Im lookin for the man who shot my paw!”

Q: What happened when the cat won the Great Dane beauty contest? A: a Cat-has-trophy!

Q: Why did the Great Dane cross the road? A: To get to the Barking Lot!

A Great Dane farted on an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels!

Q: Whats large grey and makes no difference to Great Danes? A: Never mind, it’s irrelliphant!

Q: Did you hear the Great Dane pizza joke? A: Never mind, it’s too cheesy!

A Great Dane owner comes home from the international market and says “hey boy! you want a Brazilian treat?” The Great Dane replies “Oh Gosh! Im so lucky! How many is a Brazilion?!?”


Even tiny Great Dane Jokes are funny! Best Great Dane Jokes

Q: Why do Great Dane Vampires believe everything you tell them? A: Because their suckers!

Q: Why dont Great Danes write with dull pencils? A: Because there’s no point!

Q: What do Great Danes call empty jars of cheese whiz? A: Cheese Was

I took my Great Dane to the vet. She said “He’s a little over weight” I said I wanted a second opinion. She replied “He’s got a lovely coat”

Q: Whats a Great Danes favorite musical instrument? A: The dinner bell!

Q: Did you hear about the Great Dane who invented the knock knock joke? A: She won the no-bell prize!

At a dinner party a Great Dane farts. The Pug turns to him and says “How dare you fart in front of me!” The Great Dane replies “Im sorry, I didnt realize it was your turn!”

Why did the Great Dane roll toilet paper down the hill? So it could get to the bottom!

Q: Why do Great Dane farts smell? A: For the benefit of the people who are hearing impaired!


Best Great Dane Jokes! Great Dane Privacy? No way jose!

Two Great Danes are sittin on opposite sides of a lake. One yells “HEY! How do I get to the other side of the lake?!” The second Dane yells back “You ARE on the other side!”

A Great Dane breeder has 196 Great Danes in his field. But when he rounded them up, he had 200!

A man tied his Great Dane outside the grocery store and went inside to do some shopping. A little while later, another man came over to him and asked him if the Great Dane outside was his. He told him it was and then the man said, "Well, I'm sorry to tell you this, but I believe my dog just killed your dog. The owner of the Great Dane looked at him and asked what kind of dog he had, to which the man replied that he had a Chihuahua. "A Chihuahua??? How on earth could my Great Dane have been killed by a Chihuahua???" "Well, I'm afraid your dog choked on him."


Great Dane on my counter!?! You  gotta be joking! (source @lexipelletier)

How to tell is you own a Great Dane? (a list of one liners, puns, and Great Dane jokes)

#1 visitors enter the house holding their privates protectively

#2 the pizza delivery people tell you to meet them at the end of the sidewalk

#3 you have given up on water dishes and you just use the bathtub

#4 you have to move over when brushing your teeth because your dog wants a drink

#5 it takes 3 people to get your dog on the scale at the vets

#6 you go to vacuum your car and most of the fur is up there on the ceiling

#7 you purchase a large screen TV and you still can't see the program when he stands in front of the television

#8 the sound of running water makes you jump up and yell, "OUTSIDE!"

#9 your dog can hide an entire tennis ball (among other things) fully inside his lips and give you that innocent look that says, "What? I'm not eating anything!"

#10 you avoid the dogs on your way out the door, so they won't smear your makeup

#11 you walk your dog and everyone knows him by name, but you have no idea who these people are

#12 you keep at least one color-coded "drool towel" in every room of your house

#13 you've learned to force a smile when asked "do you have a saddle for that thing?"

#14 your dane strolls through the living room and everyone jumps to secure things to the coffee table.

#15 after banishing your husband, the snoring in your bedroom still keeps you awake

#16 while stopped at a stop light, everyone stares as your car rocks back and forth because the dog is panting out the window

#17 the donuts you put on top of the refrigerator are gone when you get home and your dog has powdered sugar on his nose

#18 the donuts you put on top of the refrigerator are gone when you get home and your dog has powdered sugar on his nose

#19 you take your dog for a ride and he rests his head on your arm, causing you to make random right turns

#20 your veterinarian has been able to put in a swimming pool, build a large home, buy jet skis and a personal plane

#21 the monthly dog budget exceeds your home mortgage payment

#22 you show a picture of your dogs and kids together, and the first person you point out is your dog

#23 your dog can see what you're cooking, and he tries to assist you in the preparation

#24 after surgery, your bored pup decides to get up and cruise around the vet's office-- pulling the rolling IV stand behind him

#25 you can carry on a conversation with a dog's muzzle firmly in your crotch

#26 you are hiking with a friend who later suggests that you ought to have an environmental impact statement done on your dog

#27 you toss your dog a ball and cringe when he almost hits his head on the top of the doorway

#28 your dog stands in your lap and reaches over you to stick his head in the drive-through window at MacDonald's and nearly gives the cashier a heart attack when she turns around to give you your change

#29 you carry a tape measure with you when shopping for a new vehicle

#30 you have had to train your dog not to lick dishes, and the dishes are in the sink

#31 your two dogs decide to play in the house, and they end up pulling the ceiling fan down -- for the second time

#32 you have to hide your food in the microwave because that is the only place your dog can't get to it.